From Claptrap to Chaos: A Personal Retrospective on Borderlands

I havent even finished it yet…

Odd ones, gather ‘round, because I’ve got something to confess: my Borderlands journey started with about 15 glorious minutes at a friend’s house. It was love at first cel-shaded sight - those graphics! Back then, they were like the cool kid at school with the edgy style no one else dared to try. Naturally, I was hooked, even if my attention span betrayed me before I could dig in. Fast forward to now, and I’m finally giving Borderlands the attention it deserves - ADHD chaos and all.

Let’s talk about Claptrap for a second. That little robot holds a special place in my heart. Did you know his disk tray moves when he’s sleeping? Because I cannot stress enough how much joy that detail gives me. And when he says, “I can see the code”? Odd ones, I giggle. Every. Single. Time. Honestly, rescuing Claptraps is basically my side hustle in the game right now. I’m not done yet, but mark my words - I will save them all. If it means sacrificing sleep, snacks, or my own character, so be it.

One thing that stands out about Borderlands is its humor - witty, absurd, and proudly dumb in the best way. It’s like the writers threw caution to the wind and said, “Let’s make this as chaotic as possible.” Respect. But (and here’s where my brain starts spinning), I wish the narrative let me experience more of the story as a player. You know, like when Mario learns Peach is in another castle, and he’s just as exasperated as we are? Or how What Remains of Edith Finch pulls you into each character’s world? I’d love for Borderlands to let me feel the ridiculousness, not just hear about it.

That said, Borderlands 1 has been a wild ride so far. I’m rocking Mordecai, the ranged specialist, because who doesn’t love a sniper? At first, pistols felt like the sad leftovers of the weapon world - why bother? But then, the abilities kicked in. Suddenly, every pistol shot is firing twice instead of once, and my magazine size is through the roof. Snipers may still be my go-to, but there’s something satisfying about leveling up and watching even the most basic weapons become unstoppable.

If I were in charge of Borderlands, oh boy, would I shake things up. Fetch quests? Gone. Okay, maybe I’d keep one - but it would be so self-aware and absurd that it’s practically performance art. Picture this: Stanley Parable vibes, where you’re grinding through it with full knowledge that it’s the only fetch quest in the game. Everything else would be an experience: shooting down a plane with a sniper to break through a boss’s wall, or fixing Claptrap in an Operation-style mini-game where the cursor fights back like FPS recoil. Also, you’d be able to pet the skags. Sneak up on them, give them a little love - it’s what they (and we) deserve.

And of course, I’d let the writers go wild with even more cheap gags. Honestly, they’re the unsung heroes of the Borderlands universe. Double their pay and tell them to lean all the way into the chaos. Humor is what makes this series shine, after all.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at with my Borderlands journey - still in progress, still giggling at Claptrap, and still wondering if skags secretly just want a hug. Thanks for being part of this weird, wonderful ride with me. If you’re already subscribed, you’re the real MVP. If not, why not join the club for $5/month? I promise it’s worth it - plus, tips help me rescue even more Claptraps.

Stay odd, stay awesome, and maybe go pet a skag if you get the chance.

- Zach